My birthday is rolling around again and I wanted to make myself something special. I don’t want to just celebrate my birthday, but I want to celebrate my win. I am finally losing weight for the first time since 2016. The menopause process has taken a lot out of me and now that it’s almost over, I was able to buckle down and get back to business. However, this time I said I wouldn’t suffer. I haven’t, and I’m glad for it.

But I want to first address why you only see a white cake.  It describes how I feel I am seen by those closest to me.  Plain, reliable, I’m there for others.  However, when you get to the inside of the cake, there is color and flavor.  But I feel like I’m only seen on the surface.  Invisible.  Non-descript.  Like a lot of women, our achievements are ignored by and people only see the mundane stuff we do for others.  Others that don’t care about the entire person.  I didn’t want to have children because I know the prison motherhood is for women.  You are a mother.  That’s it.  You can love your kids and still feel trapped.

My birthday is a window into where I stand.  Tony and his family are one of the few people that sees me.  He doesn’t look at me as the sum of what I can do for him.  I am a whole person.  Just like the inside of this plain white cake.  Layers of colors and flavor.  This year I am being important by celebrating my wins on my own.  I found that sharing my wins with those closest, only at best got a shrug and worst broke my heart. I care and that’s all that matters.

For this birthday I wanted something a bit more grand, like a layer cake. Showing the colors I crave.  I am starting with a recipe for Raspberry Layer Cake from My Cake School. By making this a low sugar, low carb cake I can lower the calories by quite a bit. As written, the calories are off the charts. I believe in having my cake and eating it too, but making that cake fit my macros. I am looking forward to the treat and celebrating in style.

Here are the original stats:

Here’s what I changed:

• I replaced the butter and oil in the cake with unsweetened applesauce to reduce the calories and saturated fat.
• I replaced the cake flour with almond and coconut flours to reduce the carbs.
• I replaced the sugars with their sweetener equivalents to reduce the sugar.
• I replaced the sour cream and cream cheese with their plant based equivalents to remove the dairy.
• I removed the added salt because the other ingredients had enough sodium.

Here are the final stats:

Here is the final recipe:

Low Sugar Raspberry Layer Cake

Serves 16

For the Cake:

• 1 cup unsweetened applesauce
• 2 cups granulated sweetener (400g)
• 3 large eggs, room temperature 
• 1 1/4 cups almond flour
• 1/4 cup coconut flour
• 1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• ½ teaspoon baking soda 
• 1 cup plant based sour cream 
• 10 oz frozen raspberries thawed

For the Filling

• 12 ounce package frozen raspberries 
• ½ cup granulated sweetener
• 3 Tablespoons cornstarch 
• 1 teaspoon lemon juice 

For the Frosting

• 2 sticks unsalted butter, slightly softened
• 16 oz plant based cream cheese, softened. 
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 
• 6 to 6 ½ cups powdered sweetener

Preparing the Raspberry Puree

• It is good to prepare the raspberry puree for the batter first. Thaw raspberries (if using frozen). Puree in blender and run through a small strainer.
• Add the strained puree to a saucepan along with ¼ cup water a 2 Tablespoons sweetener.  Cook over medium high heat until reduced to ¾ cup.  This may take about 10-15 minutes. If you happen to reduce too much, just add water to reach the ¾ cup mark. 
• Allow the raspberry puree to cool before using.  Can be made in advance and refrigerated.   

Preparing the Batter

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, grease and flour three 8 inch x 2 inch round cake pans. We like to line our pans with circles of parchment paper also.
• In a medium sized bowl, add flours, baking powder, and baking soda.  Whisk to blend for 30 seconds.   Set aside.
• In another bowl, combine the sour cream, raspberry puree and unsweetened applesauce. Blend with fork and set aside.
• Mix sugars and eggs in a stand mixer.
• Add the flour mixture and the sour cream mixture alternately, beginning and ending with the flour mixture (3 additions of dry ingredients, 2 additions of wet ingredients).   
• Bake at 350 degrees for 22 to 25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean or with just a few crumbs attached. Keep an eye on it, ovens can bake differently.     
• Let cool in pans 5 to 10 minutes, then turn out.

Cooked Raspberry Filling

• Completely thaw the frozen raspberries.
• Pour thawed raspberries into blender and puree. Place a fine wire strainer over a bowl. Pour the raspberry puree into the strainer. Using the back of a spoon, press the raspberry puree through the strainer. You should get about ¾ cup of strained puree. Add enough water to this to make 1 ¼ cups
• In a small saucepan, combine the raspberry juice, sweetener, lemon juice and cornstarch. Whisk to blend. Cook over medium heat whisking constantly until the mixture thickens.
• Remove from the heat and allow to cool. Can be refrigerated in a covered container for a week.
• Makes 1 ¼ cups.

For the Cream Cheese Frosting

• Cut the butter into slices and add to the bowl of your mixer. Beat on low to medium speed until the butter is softened and smooth.
• Cut the softened cream cheese into pieces and add to the butter, beating at low to medium speed until incorporated. If you are using a hand mixer you may need to soften the cream cheese a bit more.
• Add the vanilla. Gradually add the powdered sweetener beating on low speed until blended. Cover the bowl with a towel to keep down the cloud of powdered sugar.
• Increase mixing speed and beat until fluffy. Don’t over beat or it will become too soft. If it becomes too soft, just refrigerate a short while to firm it up a bit.
• This frosting will pipe best if used while still chilled. You can make it in advance, refrigerate and when ready to use let it soften slightly (do not microwave) and remix.
• Will frost a 3 layer 8 or 9 inch cake.

Assembly of Cake

• Place first raspberry cake layer on pedestal or cake plate. Pipe a dam of cream cheese frosting about ½ inch from the edge of the layer. Fill with a thin layer of cooled raspberry filling (or jam), pipe on a layer of cream cheese frosting. Top with second cake layer. Repeat steps. End with final cake layer.
• Fill in any gaps between cake layers with frosting. Apply thin crumb coat. At this point I like to chill the cake for about 15 minutes in the freezer to firm up the frosting. Apply final layer of frosting and decorate.